i promise you don't have to change a thing.
Halo Bang, if by any chance you are here, this might be the last thing I ever write for you (hopefully). Please have a comfortable sit because it's going to be long and honest.
Loneliness never bothered me. I never had a problem being alone in a storm for a long time — until I got to know you.
You were so brave, bright, fiery, gorgeous, yet so fragile. We had similar stories, and those made me think I needed to protect you.
So I started to write things for you — for how brave you are facing the world, for how strong you have been through everything on your own. I never had the courage to tell you all that, unfortunately.
I know you never asked me to. You were just being you — being kind, caring for the people around you. I know. But I fell for you where i shouldn't have.
When I opened this long-closed door for someone again, I knew it was going to hurt and fall apart at some point.
Bang, you’re kind, pretty, lovely, and alluring. You are full of passion, explosive, and will have a bright future ahead. It's not hard for someone to admire and fall for you.
But I’ve started to realize that we are not made for each other — a truth I can’t bend into something mutual. No matter how deeply I cared, it doesn’t make us meant to be.
🔆
I hope I’m right — that now you are feeling the butterflies for someone again. I wish you would find someone you can love with all of your heart — and that he gives you all the happiness you deserve.
Maybe this is the time I let my heart rest and stop reaching for what was never mine.
I promise, you don’t have to change a thing — the sun will still rise and set, and so will the reality.
You might feel confused, disgusted, even decide to hate me — and that’s okay. Trust me, I hated myself for this too. It’s not your mistake, it’s mine. And it has always been mine.
You might see me act different, not because I hate you — it’s just me learning to step back, to detach, it’s just me creating a little distance, trying not to think about you so often.
I really value the bond we built with our closest ones and I don’t want to destroy it. I’ll give myself time, and I hope it will heal eventually.
It’s just me retreating, and nothing more. It’s me wishing you a life where you never lose that light I once saw in you.
For the better or worse, thank you for making me feel something again.
🌼